Many of us come to religion or spirituality or personal development because we feel a little empty inside. We are looking for something to ease the discord in our minds.
We might then hear stories about how Jesus has cured someone of a lifelong drugs or alcohol addiction, or how someone has had an overnight spiritual awakening, or how someone has made millions through their business.
And then after years of trying to do the inner work (whatever inner work is), we might wonder - 'Why is it that my life is still a mess? I'm tired of trying to feel better. I want something that achieves results.'
My life came crashing down in spectacular fashion this year, after many years of following a spiritual path and trying various ways to make myself better. I am going to go into what were the pitfalls of the approach I was following - but first - enjoy the picture below.
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| Image courtesy of Dreamstime.com |
There's nothing wrong with any of the things above. We're meant to be abundant. But the meaning of what abundance is has been slightly skewed. Which brings me on to the first pitfall of the healing journey (of many).
Thinking that external factors will make us better and fulfilled
There's few things that annoy me more now than when people say 'You've got lots of money and everything you could possibly want - you shouldn't be depressed.' I just know that is nonsense. But it's not much fun having little money either - I can confirm that from experience. I definitely want to be getting more money than I have been. But it's all too easy to start with a desire to have plenty of material and monetary possessions, rather than truly face what is happening inside ourselves.
Expectations
This has been a big one for me. I thought that if I kept on going, I'd eventually reach the magical point of enlightenment and inner peace and be healed of all my problems. Reading stories about sudden awakenings can be more harmful than helpful at times. I'm not here to judge here or discount other people's experiences, but what I do think is that these kind of awakenings are not going to happen for most people, no matter how sincere and devoted we might be.
Many of us come to a religious or spiritual path because we just want to be healed. And if we aren't healed by the timescale that we expect .. then it's not fair :)
The search for enlightenment
The desire to become enlightened is just another way of thinking something will make you happy that you haven't currently got - other examples include money, a relationship, living by the beach, you name it. 'Just be present', they say. Unfortunately - this isn't quite as simple as books like The Power of Now make out - particularly if you have a heavy dose of trauma, PTSD and the like.
Giving your power away
One of the favours that Covid did for me was to help me realise, once and for all, that the so called 'gurus' are not necessarily all that. I was shocked by how many of them fell for the Covid narrative and some even pushed for others to take the vaccine - and yes I know, it's all about opinions and blah blah blah - but it was OBVIOUS that the narrative had more holes than Swiss cheese. You didn't need a degree in rocket science to work that one out.
It's all too easy to put others on a pedestal. But now I take notice of very few people's sayings and perspectives. We have to start by following our own lead, and any teachers that we may need will appear along the way.
Be wary of the conspiracy world, too
At first, it seemed like us so called conspiracy theorists had found our tribe. But as time has gone on, many many cracks have appeared in conspiracy headquarters. Some of the theories and viewpoints I have heard have bordered on insane. Going down too many rabbit holes can really mess with your head. The key for me is to become centred in myself and surround myself with the right people.
The desire to fully transcend our pain - or the desire to be 'healed'
Humans are wired for pleasure and to flee from pain. It's not easy to come to terms with the fact (and it is a fact) that no matter how much inner work we do, how much therapy we have, how much we cast out demons, what food we eat, what community we belong to - there are things that we will never be fully healed from in this lifetime. Learning to accept and even love the difficult parts of ourselves is not easy, and doing so with the motive that it will disappear is futile. It's quite a journey, this healing journey :)
Clinging on too tightly to a set of beliefs
I've been involved in Christianity, new agey spirituality, the 'truther' community - and there were times when I viewed whatever beliefs I had at the time as 'the truth' or 'my truth'. It is not easy when your beliefs come crashing down and you are left with no choice but to re-evaluate what is right for you. Which, for me is an ongoing journey.
I hope you enjoyed this. Please consider giving me a donation (a million pounds would be nice). Seriously, I might do a donation button soon - you never know 😇
Peace
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