So I tell God that I want to create a soul centred business, meet the woman of my dreams, and create a life I love. God said 'okay, but be prepared to have practically no social life for a little while, be prepared to push yourself in ways you've never done before and be prepared to face some of your biggest fears. Oh and add a neurodiverse brain and highly sensitive nervous system, and a full time job working with the public into the mix. Are you up for it?'
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If it was easy to live the life of our dreams, most people would be doing it and the world would be a better place. As I've mentioned before in a previous blog post (at least I think I did), there are certain people or entities that own much of the world's resources and keep humanity under control and dumbed down. There is absolutely no doubt about this. School is basically an indoctrination centre which prepares you for the slave world of working a job for someone else that you don't even necessarily like, and eventually you retire on a pension when your prime years are behind you.
This kind of life never seemed quite right to me. When I was a Christian, I thought I would go into full time Christian work. A 'career' was not for me. I bumbled around in various office jobs for years. But I also needed money. There was a short time when I thought of myself changing career - transport planning and marketing were two things I briefly considered. But the thing is - I find the conventional work environment quite challenging, and many jobs that are considered pretty normal for a lot of people, I could not do. I am not that far off being unemployable, really.
But when it comes to money and doing jobs that take up quite a bit of time and energy, it can be more comfortable staying in that environment, even if it's far from ideal.
But, since discovering the best spiritual path for me, the call to do something different has never fully left me. I know I'm not supposed to be working in a 'proper' job - I am so clearly unsuited to the 9 to 5 environment. The thing is, I never really KNEW exactly what I wanted to be doing - and I had a mountain of unresolved trauma.
And it was only last year, when I really started to dig deep into the layers of trauma and conditioning and really face things head on, that I was really to even start considering what my soul centred business would be. For me, whilst I trust my intuition, I find that snap decisions often do not work for me - I might need to take a bit of time with things and sometimes do a bit of experimenting.
THE NEURODIVERSE BRAIN
One big challenge of an ADHD mind is having lots of ideas but finding it difficult to find one thing that really lights up your soul.
Another REALLY big one for me is starting projects but not following through on them.
Another one - probably the biggest for me - is sensory overload and finding the work environment over stimulating. It can be hard to find the energy to do things I want to do outside of my job because I sometimes feel so drained. And with my brain chemistry and history of mental health 'stuff', there is a need to be careful and not overdo things.
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There can be a bit of a fine line between going into victim mode and needing to protect one's mental health. There's no two ways about it, dealing with a neurodiverse brain can be pretty challenging at times, and certainly it has affected the course of my life greatly.
I may not be able to do things as quickly as some people. But - here's the thing - there will always be some challenges and obstacles towards us achieving our dream.
GOING THE EXTRA MILE
This is a term that is sometimes used in the workplace (I presume it still is). In workplace terms, it basically means do extra work for nothing, or do extra work to impress the boss enough to get a promotion. I used to look down on people who finished their work at 5pm on the dot when there was more work to be done. Be conscientious, I thought, and if necessary, stay late at work.
I began to see that these people that I looked down on might actually have a point, after working in a job where I was contracted to start at 9am but would start at 7.15am because otherwise I could not keep up with the work. And it was the norm for others at the same workplace to work extra time. Of course, there was no overtime pay. There should have been, but that's another story.
And then there was the worst job of my life, where the workload was just impossible. God only knows how much extra time I did in that job. I eventually quit after my boss threatened to put extra work on me after I'd just come back from two weeks off after my brother's death.
My viewpoint now is that I would generally not advise anyone to be working extra hours for their employer without pay, except in exceptional and occasional circumstances. If you're working for someone else, you should be getting suitably recompensed. 'Going the extra mile' can quite easily make you a doormat and give licence for organisations to expect people to do too much.
However, when it comes to working for yourself, you can't really have the attitude of an employee. I don't advocate burnout and I make sure to keep my mental health in check as best I can. But .. since starting to work towards my vocational goals and also attracting the woman of my dreams, my life is busier than ever. And I have had to push myself that bit extra. Days off seem like a thing of the past at the moment - there's always something to do. Life does not tend to provide an easy path towards fulfilling your dream lifestyle.
MANAGING MY STRESS LEVELS
It's very important for me to establish a good way of looking after myself as best I can, whilst trying to work towards my goals. Especially with ADHD and a brain that can get easily overwhelmed. At the moment, I need to be working in a job. And sometimes there are days at work that are very busy, or difficult customers. This can make me feel drained and exhausted.
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Also, another important thing is to accept however I feel as best I can, and not fight against anything - including stress. Any stress I get now is fairly manageable to an extent and does not last that long - although if I was to ever have a job which caused as much stress as the jobs I had from 2012 to 2014, I would be taking time off and looking for another job. Serious work stress is one of the most horrible things I have ever been through.
But generally speaking nowadays - even if I do have a bad day at the office - which many of us do - I am usually okay by the next day. I have tools I can use such as meditation.
THE COMPARISON GAMES
This is definitely a challenge that I frequently visit. And it's generally the weak spots that we compare ourselves to with others. There are some areas that I am stronger in than many people - for example doing live videos and public speaking, also writing - but generally, I am a late developer. And that has been hard. I haven't 'made it' in the corporate world, and lots of spiritual entrepreneurs were quite successful in the corporate world. I've earnt less money than the average person my age. I am lucky now in that I've had a bit of financial help and also my rent now is extremely cheap for Manchester. The universe does provide. I'd never had long term relationships up until my late 40s - that was difficult.
And it's slightly unrealistic to never compare ourselves to others. However, too much comparison is not going to help. It's easy to think we've got it harder than others for whatever reason, and maybe some of us have.
I get very frustrated at times when I am not making the progress my ego would like. But, the thing I am learning is to trust and take small steps at a time. There are definitely extra challenges that come with a neurodiverse brain. But - all I can do is do my best.
Asking for help is important, as well as surrounding ourselves with people that believe in us. We all have challenges and obstacles when it comes to working towards the life of our dreams - but, together we are strong.
Peace out
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